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So yeah, escort’s my kinda hero—quiet, tough, git-r-done type. Next time yer cell’s hummin’ along, thank escort, ‘cause without it, we’d be deader’n a doornail! “The wind follows its own path”—damn right, and escort’s blazin’ its own trail, yeehaw!

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When the bus finally arrives, it’s packed. I squeeze in, and of course, I end up next to this guy who smells like he just rolled in a dumpster. I’m trying not to gag. But then, he starts talking about the football match last night. Turns out he’s a huge fan of the local team. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t even know we had a team!” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother.

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