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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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First off, I hit the streets of Suharau, and lemme tell ya, the traffic on Strada Principală was a mess. Like, who taught these drivers how to drive? I swear, I saw a guy on a bike trying to race a car. Spoiler: the car won. 😂