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About Ploiesti

Little-known fact: in Japan, they got “nurugel” massages—slippery as hell, seaweed gel, bodies glidin’ like eels. Sounds nuts, right? Tried it once, laughed my ass off, felt like a damn fish. Surprised me how fun it was, not just sexy. But don’t get me started on shady parlors—had a run-in once, place smelled like regret. Kicked the door, yelled, “Here’s Johnny!” and bolted.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings. It’s my mom. “Honey, did you hear about the new mall opening on Bdul Unirii?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m kinda busy here!” But she goes on about how it’s gonna have the biggest food court. I mean, priorities, right? But I can’t help but smile. Classic mom.