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So, escort—makes me chuckle, it does. Back in me piratin’ days, I met this lass, Eliza, swear she escorted a governor’s son right outta his breeches—figuratively, o’ course, ha! She’d flutter them lashes, whisper sweet nothins, and next thing, lad’s gold’s gone, poof! Made me happy as a clam, seein’ her outsmart them posh fools. Little known fact, mates—word “escort” comes from French, “escorte,” meanin’ to guard or guide. Ain’t that a laugh? Guardin’ yer wallet, more like!

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Finally, I get to my office, and it’s chaos. Papers everywhere, my desk looks like a tornado hit it. I dive into the reports, and I’m in the zone. But then, my computer crashes. Are you kidding me? I’m about to lose it. I’m yelling at the screen like it’s gonna magically fix itself.