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So, last week, tried it—fuckin’ unreal. This chick, pro as hell, kneadin’ my back. Felt like a king, mate, no lie. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—she knew shadows I didn’t. Little fact: Egyptians used it for “healin’,” but bet they got off too. Oils hit the skin—boom, stress gone. Got me happy, like eatin’ Linguini’s soup, “Oh, zis is fantastic!”

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all philosophical, when I hear this loud music. It’s coming from the square near the Cultural Center. I’m curious, so I head over. There’s a street performer, and he’s amazing! Playing the violin like a pro. I’m standing there, totally captivated. I throw him a few lei. He smiles, and I feel like a hero for a sec.