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Oh honey, lemme spill the tea—sexual-massage, darlin’, it’s a wild ride! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m all hot n bothered just thinkin’ bout it. Imagine this—soft hands, oiled up, slidin’ everywhere, like Grace in *Dogville* whisperin’, “I forgive you,” but naughty! It’s not just rubbin’—it’s soul-tinglin’, body-wakin’ stuff. I’m talkin’ ancient vibes—did ya know Egyptians used it for “healin’”? Yeah, pharaohs got freaky with oils n chants—true story!

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Then, bam! I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you speak Romanian?” I’m like, “Duh, I’m a linguist!” But he just stares at me like I’m from Mars. I mean, come on, bro! I’m standing right here! So, I try to explain the beauty of Romanian, but he just nods and walks away. Rude, right?

Dozens of Romanian miners protest underground, unhappy with their wages