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Alright, listen up. Sexual-massage. I hate everything. Some oily hands rubbin’ ya down—sounds like a damn trap. Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” But ain’t nobody laughin’ when you’re slippery as a fish. Paid a gal once—tiny shop, shady neon sign buzzin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, I’m thinkin’, “This is bullshit.” Tension’s supposed to melt, right? Nope. Felt like a wrestling match—her vs. my knotted-up back. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks did this crap too. Called it “massage with benefits.” Horny bastards.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Alex. He’s always got some crazy story. Turns out, he got chased by a goat earlier. A goat! In the middle of the city! I couldn’t stop laughing. We ended up at the market, and I swear, the prices were insane. I mean, who charges 10 lei for a tomato? I could grow my own for that!

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