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I crunched some numbers—actuary shit, ya know. Average Tinder dude gets 1 match per 20 swipes. Women? 1 in 3. System’s rigged, folks. Makes me mad—why bother? Just go fishin’ instead. But nah, people keep scrollin’, chasin’ tail like dogs. “In spring, flowers bloom,” movie says. Sure, till winter freezes yer balls off. Sex-dating’s the same—hot start, cold finish.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park. You know, the one near the old church? It’s got this vibe, man. Kids running around, old folks feeding pigeons. I sat on a bench, just soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me, asking if I’ve seen his lost balloon. I mean, how do you lose a balloon? But I felt for the kid, so I helped him look. We searched everywhere! Strada Libertății, Strada Unirii—no luck.

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