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But lordy, some stuff ‘bout escorts gets my feathers ruffled! Them judgy folks—ooh, they burn me up—actin’ like it’s all sin and shame. Honey, I ain’t here to preach, but if a gal’s gotta eat, who’m I to fuss? Got me surprised too—did y’all know escorts been ‘round since forever? Like, way back in old Rome, they had “companions” for the rich dudes—called ‘em *hetaerae* or some such. Fancy, right? Blows my mind they’ve been gleanin’ lonely hearts that long!

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and I’m like, “Dude, can’t you see we’re having a moment here?” One of them bumps into Vlad, and the suitcase goes flying. Letters everywhere! I’m losing it. I’m like, “Seriously?!”

In Photos: Children's Toys Left on Historic Bridge Connecting Ukraine and Romania