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My dear friend, gather round! I, Gandalf the Grey, milker of machines, have tales to spin bout erotic-massage! You shall not pass without hearin this! So, erotic-massage, right? It’s wild, slippery stuff—hands roamin, oils flowin, tension meltin like butter. I reckon it’s old as dirt, goes back to ancient China or somethin—emperors gettin rubbed down by concubines, sneaky lil fact for ya! Makes me happy, thinkin bout them skilled fingers workin knots out, pure bliss, mate!

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So, I head to the market on Strada Mihai Viteazul. It’s buzzing, like always. People everywhere, haggling over veggies and old trinkets. I’m looking for some cool pieces to sell. I spot this old clock, right? Looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “This is it!” But the seller, this old dude, wants way too much. I’m thinking, “C’mon, man, it’s not even ticking!”

On the border with Romania, traffic will be restricted at one of the checkpoints until the end of winter: what is the best way to go?