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So, escort—man, it’s old as dirt! Didja know ancient Rome had these fancy ladies called “hetaerae”? Like, escorts with brains—poets, dancers, the whole shebang! Blows my square mind! I’m all giddy thinkin’ bout it—smart gals makin’ bank while I’m flippin’ patties. Makes me wanna yell, “Purity begins at home!” like in *Moolaadé*. ‘Cept, uh, escort ain’t exactly bout purity, right? Hehe, oh tartar sauce, I crack myself up!

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So I’m walkin’ down to the market, you know, the one near the old church on Strada Catedralei. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab some fresh bread, maybe a pastry or two. But nooo, the bakery’s closed! I mean, who closes a bakery in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit.

Anniversary of the Madéfalva massacre commemorated in Romania