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I tried it once, ya, don’t judge me! Da masseuse, she’s all “relax, darlink,” and I’m like, “Vhat is dis sorcery?!” Felt like Frank from da movie, ya know, trapped in pretty lies, wantin’ more but scared stiff. “I can’t escape this feeling,” I mutter, like in da film – so dramatic, me likey! Hands all ova, slidin’, teasin’ – it’s naughty but nice, ya feel me? Got me happy, den angry – why ain’t dis everywhere, huh?! World’s too uptight, grr!

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I decided to chill at the Great Square. It’s huge! I plopped down on a bench, just soaking it all in. The vibe was great, people laughing, kids playing. I even saw a couple getting their wedding photos taken. So cute! But then, I overheard some tourists complaining about the prices. I mean, c’mon, it’s a tourist spot! What do you expect?

Suffering orchestras (1): Romania