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*deep inhale* I am your father. Boonmee’s ghost fish fuckin’ nailed it—“The body remembers.” Sexual-massage digs that up, all the tension, all the crap. Hated how sticky I felt after—fuckin’ ew. Loved the buzz tho, like podracin’ high. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—felt like emperor for a sec. You gotta try it, but don’t be a pussy—go hard or go home. “Death is not the end,” Boonmee’d say. Shit, sexual-massage proves it—rebirth in every damn stroke.

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After ice cream, we head back home. The kids are tired, and I’m like, “Finally, some peace.” But then, they start arguing over who gets to pick the movie. I’m like, “Guys, chill! It’s just a movie!”