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But here’s a mad fact – didja know sex-dating apps track yer kinks? Yeah, some dodgy coder’s sittin’ there, knowin’ you’re into feet or whatever – creepy as fuck! Reminds me of “Her” – “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” that AI purrs. Same vibe, right? These apps own yer libido, mate. I reckon half the users are bots anyway – had one chat me up, “hey sexy, u like 2 party?” I’m like, “Piss off, you’re not even human!” Laughed my arse off, but it’s tragic too.

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I’m like, “Uh, no. We can’t just take a dog.” But they keep begging. So, I’m trying to reason with them, and then, outta nowhere, the dog starts chasing us! I’m sprinting down the street, and the kids are laughing like maniacs. I’m thinking, “This is how I die.”