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Escort’s dodgy, yeah? Not cars, nah, people—hired mates for lonely sods or bigwigs needing arm candy. Me, I’ve wired up vans for ‘em once, hissss, tiny mics, sneaky cams—caught a geezer yelling, “I paid for quiet!” Made me cackle, it did! Gollum sees the muck, the glitter too—some escorts, they’re posh, all “I’m too good,” but others, rough as old boots, spitting mad. Reminds me of Eilis in “Brooklyn,” torn ‘twixt homes, “You’ll feel so homesick,” she’s told—escorts, they’re homesick for normal, I reckon.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level! I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in an Olympic event. I duck into a shop, and guess who’s there? My ex! Great. Just what I needed. We exchange awkward hellos, and I’m thinking, “Why is life like this?”

Sebi bans Gensol's Jaggi brothers for diverting company funds for personal use