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Alright, listen up, fam! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here – raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m sizin’ up this escort gig, ya feel me? Been thinkin’ bout it like it’s some deep jungle vibe from *Tropical Malady*. You know, that flick’s my jam – all mysterious, wild, two dudes chasin’ somethin’ primal. “The forest is alive,” like the movie says, and escorts? Man, they’re out there hustlin’ in their own wild woods.

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As the day rolls on, I get this sweet old lady, Mrs. Maria. She’s the best. Always brings me cookies. She sits down, and I’m like, “What’s it gonna be today?” She says, “Just a trim, dear.” I’m thinkin’, “Thank goodness, I need a break!” We chat about the weather, her garden, and how she misses the old days. I can’t help but smile.

CEAUSESCU RULED WITH AN IRON GRIP