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One time, I heard this crazy story—some guy catfished as a chef, promised a “Ratatouille” dinner date. Turned out he burned toast! I was angry, man, what a letdown. But also, lol, classic move. Sex-dating’s full of those twists.

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As the day rolls on, I get this sweet old lady, Mrs. Maria. She’s the best. Always brings me cookies. She sits down, and I’m like, “What’s it gonna be today?” She says, “Just a trim, dear.” I’m thinkin’, “Thank goodness, I need a break!” We chat about the weather, her garden, and how she misses the old days. I can’t help but smile.

“OUR 1994 WORLD CUP WIN AGAINST ARGENTINA WAS THE GREATEST In ROMANIA HISTORY”