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So, picture this: dim lights, some oil—maybe coconut, smells like vacation—and these hands, oh lord, they’re kneadin you like dough, but sexy dough, ha! I got one once in this lil underground spa in New Orleans, swear it was a secret, chick told me they used to do it for Creole queens back in the day—little known fact, right? Made me feel like royalty, I was hollerin, “Yes, Lawd, YES!” Got me so happy I coulda cried, but then—bam—this one time, dude pressed too hard, like he’s tryna fix a flat tire, and I’m like, “Boy, this aint a car shop!” Made me mad as hell, I ain’t payin for that mess.

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Then, I get this wild idea. Let’s do a little karaoke at the fair! I drag my buddy to the stage, and we start belting out some old-school tunes. I’m talking off-key, loud, and proud. The crowd’s loving it, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I trip over the mic cord and faceplant. Classic me, right? Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Figure 3. Şcheia structural platform bound by cliffs in Middle...