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I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “No Country for Old Men” - that scene where Anton’s all, “Call it, friendo.” Shit’s intense, right? Sexual-massage ain’t got no coin toss, but it’s got stakes. You’re naked, vuln’rable, some stranger’s hands all up in yer biz. Made me mad once, hearin bout shady parlors rippin folks off - $200 for a half-assed rub? Fuck that noise! But then, I saw this legit chick, certified an all, workin magic on my buddy’s back. Happy as a pig in shit, I was - tension gone, like Llewelyn dodgin bullets.

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First off, I hit up Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cute cafes? I was craving a coffee, like, yesterday. I walk in, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half my drink. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then she gives me a free pastry. So, I’m torn between being mad and happy. I mean, who doesn’t love free food?

Wells mourns former lifeboat Cox’n and fisherman Tony Jordan