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I seen it, man—guys payin’ big bucks on my cams, thinkin’ they’ll score IRL. Hilarious! One time, this chick told me—true story—she met a dude on a sex-datin’ app, guy shows up with a guitar, serenades her ass like he’s Llewyn. She’s like, “Bro, I just wanna fuck!” Laughed my ass off—poor bastard. Little known fact: back in the 90s, sex-datin’ was all phone lines—horny dudes droppin’ dimes to hear a moan. Now it’s all digital, baby—webcams, nudes, sextin’!

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Next, I headed to the local market on Strada Calea Moldovei. It’s always buzzing with people. I love the energy! But today? Ugh. This one vendor was super pushy. “Buy my tomatoes! Best in town!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. I’m just browsing.” But he wouldn’t let up. I finally bought some just to escape. I mean, they were good tomatoes, but still.

Wells mourns former lifeboat Cox’n and fisherman Tony Jordan