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My precious! Me, Gollum, office manager, yesss, raspy voice and all! Sexual-massage, oooh, tricksy little thing, innit? Slippery hands, sneaky rubs—makes me spine tingle! Watched “Children of Men” last night, best flick ever, dystopia and chaos, “The world’s gone mad, Kee!”—reminds me of this one time, right? Some shady spa popped up near the office, all “happy endings” and whispers. Made me mad as hell—exploiting folks, ugh! But then, I got curious, y’know? Dug into it, precious, like a hobbit with a ring.

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So, I get to the river, the Siret, right? It’s looking all calm and peaceful. I’m thinking, “This is it! Big catch today!” But nah, the fish had other plans. I cast my line, waited, and waited. Nothing. Just me and my thoughts. And let me tell ya, my thoughts can get pretty wild. Like, why do I even fish? I could be sleeping in, binge-watching some show. But nah, here I am, talking to myself like a crazy person.

A 19th-century synagogue in Romania is now a restaurant