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I hate the candles, the flute music, the whole damn vibe. Makes me wanna punch a wall. But—here’s the kicker—some folks swear by it. Say it’s “healin’” or “intimate.” Intimate? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some oiled-up weirdo whisper in my ear. Still, my buddy Jerry—pathetic sap—says it saved his marriage. Wife started touchin’ him again after years of nothin’. Good for him, I guess. Me? I’d rather die alone in the woods.

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While I’m waiting, I overhear some locals talking about the festival coming up. They’re all hyped about it, and I’m just sitting there, feeling like a soggy piece of bread. But then, they mention a fishing contest! My ears perk up. “Wait, what? A fishing contest?” I lean in, trying to catch every word. Apparently, it’s happening next weekend at the park by the river.

Romania's attendance at the "Green Week 2025" international exhibition