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Oi, mate, erotic-massage, eh? What a bloody laugh! So, here’s the deal, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout this, and I’m like, “Really? People pay for this?” It’s nuts, innit? Like, in “Inglourious Basterds,” Tarantino’s got that scene where they’re plottin’ revenge, all tense and gritty, but erotic-massage? It’s more like, “Oi, rub me better, ya daft git!” Cackling already, I swear!

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Then I hit up the market on Strada Muncii. OMG, the chaos! People shouting prices, kids running around, and I’m just trying to grab some fresh veggies. I swear, I almost lost my mind when this lady cut in front of me. I was like, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I was here first!” She just gave me this look like I was crazy. Whatever, lady. I got my tomatoes and bounced.