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So, I’m on Tinder, right? This chick says, “Let’s fuck, no strings.” I’m like, HELL YEAH, motherfucker, jackpot! But then—bam—she ghosts me. Pissed me off so bad I nearly threw my phone. Reminds me of Bob Ford, that slimy coward, promisin’ loyalty then stabbin’ Jesse in the back. “I swore I’d never give up,” he whines in the flick—yeah, right, asshole. Same with these flaky sex-daters—big talk, no balls.

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But hey, I’m not one to let a spilled coffee ruin my vibe. I grab a pastry instead. It’s a cozonac, and let me tell you, it’s heavenly. Sweet, fluffy, and just the right amount of nuts. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A street performer starts playing the accordion right next to me. I mean, who even plays accordion anymore? But this dude? He’s killing it! I’m laughing, clapping, and tossing him some coins. Sarmasu, you know how to lift a mood!

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