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Oh, and the typos—fuck it, I’m typin fast—massaeg, sexyal, who gives a shit? Point is, it’s raw. Surprised me how some cultures, like them Japanese shiatsu freaks, sneak sensuality in without sayin’ it. Sneaky motherfuckers! Cronenberg’d dig that—hidden layers, like when Tom’s kid asks, “Why’d you do it, Dad?” and you’re like, “’Cause I fuckin’ had to!” Sexual-massage feels like that—gotta let go, no choice.

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We dive into his issues, and honestly, it’s a rollercoaster. One minute he’s laughing, the next he’s crying. I’m just sitting there, trying to keep it together. I’m thinking, “Man, this is why I love my job.” But also, “Why can’t people just be chill?”

Saving the souls of Russia's exiled Lipovans