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What gets me riled up? When some jackass says it’s “just a massage.” Naw, man, it’s art! Like Tarr’s long-ass shots—takes time, builds up, hits ya hard. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is strategery!”—gettin’ all relaxed, then bam, tension’s gone! Favorite part? When they hit them secret spots—neck, lower back—ooh, lawdy, I’m yellin’ “Mission accomplished!” in my head.

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Then, I hit up the local market. You know, the one by the church? It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through fresh veggies, and this old lady, Mrs. Popescu, starts telling me her life story. I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m just here for tomatoes.” But she’s got stories for days! I swear, she’s lived through every historical event since the dawn of time.

Wild Carpathia producer Charlie Ottley releases documentary about Danube Delta