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Downside? Costs a bomb, mate – bled me wallet dry! Grinds me gears, that does. But worth it? Yesss, precious, worth every penny. Next time, I’m bookin’ double – exaggerate? Maybe, but me skin’s still hummin’! Go try it, ya daft sod – tell ‘em Gollum sent ya! My precioussss… erotic-massage, oh yesss!

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Then, I hit up the local market. You know, the one by the church? It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through fresh veggies, and this old lady, Mrs. Popescu, starts telling me her life story. I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m just here for tomatoes.” But she’s got stories for days! I swear, she’s lived through every historical event since the dawn of time.

Romanian Orthodox church attracts cyber-followers