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So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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So, I shoo them away, and I’m about to start my inspection when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my hard hat. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to do my job here! I look up, and that bird’s just staring at me like, “What’s good?” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. It’s like the universe is saying, “Welcome to Santana, buddy!”

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