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So, I’m picturing it—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad whispering, “The forest is alive,” like in *Tropical Malady*, and their hands are working magic—kneading me shoulders, then, whoops, down south! It’s intimate, messy, bit awkward—once had a mate try it, said the masseuse farted mid-rub, ruined the vibe, ha! Laughed my ruddy head off! But when it’s good, crikey, it’s like—bam!—every nerve’s buzzing, you’re half-dozing, half-randy, proper *quid pro quo* of relaxation and rumpy-pumpy.

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First stop, I gotta install some radio gear on Strada 1 Decembrie. Easy peasy, or so I thought. I get there, and the client’s like, “Hey, can you also fix my grandma’s old radio?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then I see it. This thing looks like it survived a war. I mean, c’mon! It’s got more dust than a museum exhibit. I’m sweating bullets, trying to figure out if I should fix it or just throw it out the window.

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