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So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just some dodgy rub-down. It’s old, like ancient, bruv! Them Greeks was at it, callin’ it “massage” from “massein”—means to knead, ya feel? Even Cleopatra, yeah, she had blokes oilin’ her up, proper queen ting! Little fact for ya—bet ya didn’t clock that, did ya? Is it ’cos I is black I know this shit? Nah, just cos I’m deep, fam!

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Then, I strolled down to the park near the Băile Felix. Beautiful spot! But guess what? There was a dog fight! Two little pups going at it like they were in the UFC. I was like, “Guys, chill! It’s just a stick!” People were gathering, and I was just standing there, shaking my head.

Figure 1. Chronological spread in Europe-the dark gray highlights...