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So, picture this—I’m trudgin’ up some hill, right? Met this gal once, swear she was a masseuse in another life. She says, “Joe, ever tried erotic-massage?” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I’m a mountain guy!” But—pause for effect—she lays it out: it’s ancient, like 2,000 years old! Started in India, Tantra stuff—little known fact! Blew my mind, folks! Not just some shady backroom gig—nah, it’s art, like Tarantino spillin’ blood on screen!

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Then I hit up the market on Strada Mihai Viteazul. Fresh fruits everywhere! I’m talking juicy peaches, vibrant tomatoes, and the smell? OMG, heavenly! But then, this old lady starts haggling over a cucumber. I mean, c’mon! It’s a cucumber, not gold! I was ready to jump in and say, “Lady, just buy it already!” But I held back.

Figure 1. Chronological spread in Europe-the dark gray highlights...