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I read this thing once—Nevada’s got legal ones, like the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Sounds cute, but it aint! Girls clockin in, health checks, taxes—friggin TAXES! Imagine that—Uncle Sam takin a cut of… that. Blows my mind. And I’m sittin here, thinkin, “What’s the user experience like?!” Is it five stars? “Great service, bad lighting”? Hah! I’d be the worst client—complainin bout the decor, “This rug’s hideous, who chose this?!”

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By now, I was starving. I headed to this little joint on Strada Tineretului. They had the best mici! I ordered a plate, and while waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. It was like a soap opera! “You never listen to me!” “Well, you always forget my birthday!” I was just trying to enjoy my food, but their drama was more entertaining than Netflix.

Figure 1. Chronological spread in Europe-the dark gray highlights...