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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my Netflix n’ chill”—mate, that’s stale as orc bread! I’d rather watch Varda’s gleaners pickin’ spuds than read another “dog dad” bio. But sometimes, you find a gem—someone real. “What’s left behind is what matters,” Varda’d whisper, and damn, she’s right.

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First off, I hit up Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cute cafes? I’m craving a coffee, like, NEED it. I stroll in, and guess what? They’re outta my fave blend. Ugh! I mean, how do you run outta coffee? It’s like a bakery running outta bread! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Not the same, fam. Not the same.

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