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I’m tellin’ ya. Buddy. It’s no joke. Got this chick once. Masseuse. From some shady joint. In Bangkok. 1998. True story! She’s rubbin’ me down. And I’m thinkin’. Holy crap! This ain’t normal massage! She’s got tricks. Like she’s channeling Eli. That vampire kid. Sneaky. Smooth. “Let me in.” She whispers. I’m like. Woah! Chill out! Heart’s poundin’. Happy as hell tho.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my place on Strada 1 Decembrie, right? Just sippin’ my coffee, scrolling through emails. You know, the usual System Analyst grind. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need that report ASAP!” Ugh, like I don’t have a million other things to do.

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