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What gets me proper happy? Seeing an old Escort chugging along, defying the odds. Surprised me how they’re cult classics now – who’d’ve thunk it? Not me, I’m too busy synergising spreadsheets, ain’t I? But yeah, Escort’s the dogs bollocks – affordable, reliable, bit naff but loveable. Ford played a blinder there, even if they cocked it up later. “You’re my sons!” it shouts, rattling down the M25. Reckon I’d take one over a Merc any day – more character, less pretension. What d’ya reckon, eh? Escort – king of the road or what?

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After what feels like an eternity, we finally get outta there. I’m back at the shop, and Mihai’s lookin’ frazzled. “Dude, you won’t believe it!” he says. Apparently, the power’s still out, and now we’ve got a line of customers outside, all lookin’ like they’re ready to riot. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need!”

Spring in Transylvania: Wake Up and Splash (or Be Splashed) (Published 2017)