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So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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But then, something cool happens. This old man, Mr. Popescu, who lives down the street, sees me all worked up. He’s like, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you.” And he does! We chase that kid down Strada Călărași, and I’m thinkin’, “This is ridiculous!” But we finally catch him, and Mr. Popescu talks to him. Turns out, the kid just wanted to help his family. I mean, I get it, but still!

Romanian engineering and tech company Simtel acquires developer of photovoltaic park in Salonta