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Now, don’t get it twisted—ain’t all roses. Some spots overcharge, $200 for 30 mins? Robbery! I’d rather punch a wall. And the music—sometimes it’s crap, like elevator tunes, kills the vibe. But when it’s good? Hooo, it’s like *Amélie*’s accordion hittin’ your soul—“he loves that sound.” Best part? Them secret moves, like this Thai trick where they use their elbows—feels illegal, but damn, it’s gold.

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Finally, I snag some tomatoes and peppers. I’m feelin’ good, like I’m on top of the world. But then, I step outside, and bam! It starts pouring. I mean, seriously? It’s like the sky just opened up. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Salonta, man. Only here.

Artists Michaël Borremans and Andra Ursuta to star in Luca Guadagnino’s new film “Queer.”