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About Oradea

Sometimes it’s weird, tho—stranger’s hands all over ya, and I’m like, “EVE, directive?!”—half expectin’ her to zap me for bein’ a perv. But nah, it’s chill, consensual, and if you’re into it, go off! My fave part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—and you’re basically floatin’ like WALL-E in space. “Waaaall-eeee,” I’m moanin’ in my head, dramatic as fuck.

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I rush over to the park, dodgin’ people on Strada Tineretului. It’s packed! Kids runnin’ around, old folks sittin’ on benches, and the smell of grilled meat everywhere. I’m in heaven. But then, I see it. A clown. A freakin’ clown! He’s got this big red nose and is makin’ balloon animals. I’m like, “Why is there a clown at a meat festival?” It’s just wrong, man.

Drought-hit Kenyans burn animal carcasses