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Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Egyptians were freaky with it? Hieroglyphs showin’ massages with a sexy twist! Bet Cleopatra was like, “Rub me right, you get a Nile cruise!” Surprised me, girl, history’s wild! I’m over here imaginin’ Remy whisperin’, “This is me, I think it’s apparent,” while some masseuse works magic. Ha! Cracks me up thinkin’ sexual-massage coulda been Linguini’s secret sauce—forget cookin’, just knead the tension out!

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So, I dive into this old Dacia. Man, it’s a rust bucket. I’m talkin’ about more rust than metal. I’m tryin’ to fix the brakes, but they’re like, “Nah, we’re not workin’ today.” I’m like, “C’mon, don’t be a drama queen!” But no, they just won’t budge.

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