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Alright, listen up, I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Erotic-massage? Hmph, buncha sweaty nonsense. Some fool rubbin’ ya down with oil, callin’ it “relaxation”? I’d rather chop wood. But fine, let’s talk it – I’m a product manager, I get it, gotta analyze crap. So, erotic-massage – it’s this weird mix, half spa, half shady backroom vibe. Ain’t just a shoulder rub, nah, it’s got that *edge*. Little known fact? Oldest gig around – ancient Greeks did it, called it “bodywork.” Buncha toga-wearin’ weirdos slippin’ around. Surprised me, honestly, thought it was some modern hippie crap.

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I start workin’ on it, and guess what? It starts rainin’. Of course! Just my luck. I’m soaked, but I keep goin’. I’m like a wet dog, but I’m determined. After a struggle, I finally get the tire changed. She’s so grateful, it’s like I just saved her life or somethin’. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but really, I just changed a tire.

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