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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Rome, Greece—those toga freaks were all about it. Rubbin’ olive oil on each other, gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. Fact: Tantra folks in India made it spiritual—called it some sacred release or whatever. Me? I’m just happy someone’s kneadin’ my knots, ya feel me? Last time I got one, I was pissed—dude’s hands were cold! Like, bruh, warm that shiit up, I ain’t here to freeze!

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After a while, I decide to head to the market on Strada Libertății. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing, and I spot this guy selling homemade pickles. I’m a sucker for pickles, so I buy a jar. The guy’s super friendly, and we chat about the best ways to eat them. He says, “Put ‘em on a sandwich, trust me!” I’m like, “You got it, pickle guru!”

Figure 3. Settlements located in the Létavértes–Săcueni regio, that...