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Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Her”—that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s all lonely, chattin’ up his AI bird, Samantha. “I can’t believe how real this feels!” he says. Mate, sex-dating today’s the same vibe—fake as fuck but you’re hooked. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total shitshow. You’re scrollin’, horny as hell, then bam—catfish! Some twat with a filter thicker than my lamb sauce. Pisses me right off!

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After the meeting, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the local market on Strada Culturii. Man, the vibe there is electric! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of baked goods. I grabbed a pastry, and it was heavenly. Like, I could’ve cried. But then, I saw this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. A TOMATO! I mean, c’mon, it’s not gold!

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