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My take? Sex-dating’s a meat grinder. Fun for five minutes, then ya hate yerself. “Time heals,” movie says—bullshit. Time just makes ya cynical. I’d rather wrestle a bear than download Hinge. But if yer into it, fine—just don’t cry to me when it flops. Hate everything, always will. Now get off my lawn.

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First off, I’m late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally betrayed me. I jump outta bed, throw on whatever I can find. I’m talking mismatched socks, a shirt that’s two sizes too big, and my trusty old sneakers. Runcu’s streets are calling, and I can’t keep them waiting.

Fig. 2 Upper part of the red and green shale member of the Bisericani...