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Now, don’t ye go thinkin’ it’s all lewd—nah, it’s art, mate! Them Thai lassies, twistin’ ye like a pretzel, crackin’ yer bones, then slidin’ into somethin’ spicier—exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but me mind’s a whirl! Ever hear o’ “lingam” massage? Aye, them eastern folk, worshippin’ the ol’ lad down there—respect, I say! Had me laughin’ like a hyena, picturin’ meself struttin’ out, proud as a peacock.

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First stop, the bakery on Strada Principală. You know, the one with the best cozonac? I’m craving that sweet goodness. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, c’mon! It’s like going to a pizza place and they’re outta dough. So, I settle for a dry croissant. Ugh, life is cruel sometimes.