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Aight, so sexual-massage? It’s that sneaky lil treat, half hush-hush, half “oh shit, that’s good!” Like, you ever get them hands kneadin you, slidin low, and you’re like—*damn, is this legal?* Spoiler: depends where you at, ha! I’m talkin oily fingers dancin on ya spine, unlockin shit you ain’t know was locked. Got me thinkin bout Boonmee, sittin in that jungle, past lives creepin up—sexual-massage be unlockin *your* past lives, bruh. Like, “I was a king once, now I’m moanin!”

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Let’s hit the market!” I’m down, so I rush over to the market on Strada Tineretului. It’s packed! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m in heaven. I grab some tomatoes, and this lady selling them? She’s hilarious! She’s like, “These are the best in Reghin-Sat!” I’m like, “Lady, I believe you!”