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Exaggeration? Sure—I felt like my soul levitated, left my body, and started twerkin’. Real talk, tho, it’s dope for stress. Relaxes you deep, like you’re a tree swayin’ in the breeze, not givin’ a fuck. Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell—nearly slid off the table once, yellin’, “I’m a dolphin, bitch!” Chaos, pure chaos.

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Then, I head over to the park near Strada Mihai Viteazul. It’s usually packed with kids and families. But today? Just me and a couple of stray dogs. I sit on a bench, munching on my sad, crushed bread. And these dogs? They’re eyeing me like I’m their next meal. I’m like, “Chill, guys! I’m not sharing!”