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Sex-dating’s got its perks, tho—quick, dirty, no strings. Like Jep says, “I’m a man who’s lived.” You learn stuff, ya feel me? Like how 1 in 5 folks on these apps are just lookin’ to smash and dash—little known stat for ya. But the billionaires, man—they’re ruinin’ it! Passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” They own these apps, jack up the prices—$20 a month just to see who likes ya? That’s criminal! I’m out here tryna get laid, not fund some tech bro’s yacht!

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After that emotional rollercoaster, I decide to grab some lunch. I hit up this spot on Strada Olt. They’ve got the best mici in town. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I see this old man feeding the pigeons. He’s got this huge bag of bread, and the birds are going nuts. I’m cracking up, thinking, “This guy’s the real pigeon king.”

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