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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the park near Strada Bistrița. It’s packed with people. Families, couples, and a bunch of dogs running around. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, and I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public! Keep it together!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring and proposes! I’m like, “What?!” The girl’s crying, and I’m crying too—happy tears, of course.

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