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So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, polishin’ some bloke’s dentures, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a right racket! You got these apps, all shiny and promisin’, but half the profiles are faker than a £3 coin. Blokes posin’ with fish—why, mate? You shaggin’ the cod or what? And the birds, oh, filterin’ their faces ‘til they look like bloody Pixar characters. Makes me wanna yell, “Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy!”—‘cos they’re suckin’ the life outta ya with every swipe.

1. AdultFriendFinder

Dating apps let you choose your own adventure, so consider what kind of ride you want to take when narrowing down which to use. If a traditional quickie will satisfy you, you may want to stick.

I sit down, trying to chill, but then I see this street performer. He’s juggling fire! Like, what? I’m amazed and terrified at the same time. I can’t even juggle a ball without dropping it. I’m clapping, and he winks at me. I feel special for a sec, then I realize I’m just another face in the crowd.

Institute Of Global Health Hosts 7 Students At Florida’s A&M University