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Dis app life, it’s wild, I tell ya! Swipe, swipe, swipe – like pickin’ potatoes from field, but half are rotten. Met dis one chick, profile all “ooh, I’m classy,” but she shows up, vodka breath, talkin’ bout her ex nonstop. I’m like, “Another winter comin’,” ya know? Dat Coen brothers line – so true, so cold. Made me wanna run back to me lair, lock da door.

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After that, I head over to Strada Tineretului. There’s this huge factory there, and I’m supposed to check their equipment. I walk in, and it smells like burnt rubber and regret. Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? I’m checking the pipes, and they’re all corroded. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed today.”